LACHLAN BROWN
Navigating social situations can sometimes feel like walking on a tightrope, especially when it comes to revealing personal information. There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.
According to psychology, there are certain things you should keep under wraps. Not because they’re necessarily bad, but because they may not serve your best interests.
This article is going to delve into the 10 things you should never reveal about yourself to others. I’ll explain the psychological reasoning behind each one and provide insights on how to handle these tricky situations.
Let’s get started.
1) Past Resentments
We’ve all been hurt, misled, or let down, but according to psychology, revealing past resentments isn’t the best idea.
Why? Because sharing these feelings can often make you appear negative or stuck in the past. It’s not about ignoring the reality of what happened, but about focusing on the present and future.
Moreover, sharing resentments can lead to being perceived as a complainer or someone who can’t let go. This may inadvertently push people away, rather than drawing them closer.
The key is to process these feelings privately or with a trusted confidant like a mentor or therapist. It’s vital for emotional health, but not necessarily productive for general conversation.
When you feel the urge to share past resentments with someone, take a pause.
It’s not about hiding your feelings but about choosing the right time, place and person to share them with.
2) Personal Financial Situation
Talking about money, especially our own, is a topic that many of us find uncomfortable. And psychology tells us there’s a good reason for that.
Sharing your personal financial situation can lead to unnecessary judgements and comparisons. It can create tension, envy, or awkwardness, even with the best of intentions.
Take it from me. I once shared with a close friend about a substantial raise I got at work. I thought it would be a celebration between friends, but instead, it created an unspoken tension. She had been struggling financially and my news only served to highlight that. Our relationship took a hit and it took time to mend.
While it’s important to have open conversations about financial literacy and habits, revealing detailed personal financial information is something that should be done with caution.
3) Your Deepest Fears
While it’s true that sharing fears can sometimes bring people closer together, diving too deep, too fast can have the opposite effect.
Psychology suggests that revealing your deepest fears can inadvertently make you an easy target for manipulation. This is because fears can serve as a roadmap to our vulnerabilities.
For instance, studies show that snakes and public speaking are two of the most common fears worldwide. Imagine revealing these fears to someone who later uses this knowledge to put you in uncomfortable situations for their own gain.
Hence, it’s wise to tread carefully when discussing your deepest fears, especially with people you don’t fully trust yet. It’s not about hiding your true self, but about protecting your emotional wellbeing.
4) Personal Secrets
We all have secrets, some trivial, some profound. But revealing these personal secrets can sometimes do more harm than good.
Psychology tells us that once a secret is out, it can never be taken back. And depending on the nature of the secret and the reaction of the person you tell, this can lead to feelings of regret, anxiety, or embarrassment.
Sharing personal secrets also places a burden on the person you’re telling. They may feel obligated to keep your secret, which can cause strain in your relationship.
Be cautious about who you share your secrets with.
It’s not about being dishonest or secretive, but about understanding the potential consequences of revealing personal secrets.
5) Your Personal Life Goals
It might seem counterintuitive, but sharing your personal life goals can sometimes backfire.
Psychology suggests that when you share your goals with others, it can create a premature sense of accomplishment. This is because the praise and validation you receive for your ambitions can trick your brain into feeling like you’ve already achieved them.
Additionally, sharing your goals can open them up to the scrutiny and opinions of others, which can deter or sidetrack you from your original path.
While it’s important to have support and accountability in pursuing your goals, be mindful of when and with whom you share them. It’s not about being secretive, but about preserving your drive and determination to achieve them.
6) Your Struggles with Self-Esteem
We all have moments when we doubt ourselves. It’s a part of being human. But revealing your struggles with self-esteem can sometimes create a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Psychology suggests that when we openly share our insecurities, we may unconsciously reinforce them. It’s as if by saying them out loud, we give them more power over us.
Furthermore, people tend to mirror the image we present of ourselves. So if we consistently communicate that we don’t think highly of ourselves, people might start to perceive us the same way.
It’s not about suppressing your feelings or pretending to be perfect, but about practicing self-love and care. There’s a vulnerable beauty in acknowledging your struggles privately and working through them. It takes inner strength to navigate these challenges, and that in itself is something to be proud of.
7) Your Family Drama
Every family has its share of disagreements and conflicts. But sharing these family dramas with others can often lead to unnecessary judgements or assumptions.
While it’s natural to seek advice or a listening ear, disclosing too much can leave you feeling exposed and vulnerable. It can also put your family members in an awkward position, especially if the person you’re telling interacts with them.
I experienced this firsthand when I shared some family disagreements with a coworker, who later used this information as gossip fodder. The experience taught me the importance of maintaining a certain level of privacy when it comes to family matters.
Use discretion when discussing family issues, understanding that everyone has their own battles to fight and that respect for our loved ones extends to what we say about them to others.
8) Your Good Deeds
We’ve all been taught that doing good is its own reward. But did you know that publicizing your good deeds can sometimes diminish their value?
Psychology explains that sharing your acts of kindness can lead to perceptions of insincerity or seeking validation. It can seem as though you’re doing good not for the sake of helping others, but for the recognition.
Moreover, the satisfaction derived from doing good deeds often stems from the personal fulfillment it brings, rather than external praise.
When you help someone or make a difference, consider keeping it to yourself. It’s not about hiding your good actions, but about preserving the purity and selflessness of these acts.
9) Your Personal Dislikes
While it’s natural to have preferences, revealing what you dislike can sometimes create unnecessary barriers.
Psychology suggests that sharing your dislikes can create an image of negativity or intolerance. It can also limit your interactions, as people may avoid certain topics or activities thinking that they will displease you.
Moreover, focusing on dislikes can close off opportunities to grow and experience new things. After all, our tastes and preferences can change over time.
Instead of emphasizing what you dislike, try focusing on what you appreciate or are open to exploring. It’s not about suppressing your opinions, but about promoting positivity and open-mindedness.
10) Your Personal Judgments
We all form judgments, it’s a part of human nature. However, openly sharing these judgments can often lead to conflict and misunderstanding.
Psychology tells us that when we share our judgments, it can unintentionally create an atmosphere of negativity and defensiveness. This can hinder open communication and damage relationships.
Moreover, personal judgments often say more about us than the person we’re judging. They reflect our values, experiences, and biases.
Before sharing a judgment, take a moment to reflect on why you’ve formed it. Is it fair? Is it necessary to share? Remember, it’s not about suppressing your thoughts, but about fostering understanding and respect.
Final Thoughts
When it comes to revealing personal information, the psychology behind it is incredibly intricate and nuanced.
One key aspect to remember is the concept of self-disclosure reciprocity. This psychological principle suggests that we tend to match the level of disclosure from the person we’re interacting with.
So, if you share too much too soon, it can create an imbalance in the relationship and make the other person uncomfortable.
Conversely, if you reveal too little, it can hinder the development of a deep connection.
The art lies in striking a balance – revealing enough to create genuine connections, while withholding enough to maintain your privacy and protect your personal interests.
Navigating this delicate balance isn’t easy, but understanding these psychological insights can empower you to make more informed decisions about what you share with others.
So next time you’re about to reveal something about yourself, pause for a moment and reflect. Is this piece of information going to strengthen the relationship or potentially harm it? The answer might surprise you.
The Expert Editor
